all dressed up. may 21st.

it's a new trend.

cleaning the apartment on friday nights. shave and a shower after. putting on a dress.

and staying in.

i don't know why i clean. i suppose it's just for me. i had to do something. it was getting sloppy again.

also, i emailed the landlord a much nicer email than the one i posted weeks ago.

it will be interesting to see what he says, what he does.

beer number two for the first time this week.

i'm kinda hungry.

i'm hungry for a lot of things, it's true. but i'd settle for a burger and fries.

only it's late, and i don't feel like leaving.

ever was supposed to call me tonight. to discuss leases.

guess he realized that i'm not as dumb as he thinks. that just because he says people are not living there and are not paying rent, doesn't make it the case.

i didn't think about the fact that he also wouldn't have to pay me if he wasn't collecting rent.

he says he is going to the property management company tomorrow morning. he'd better not call and wake me up. i should probably turn off my phone now.

i half expected him to call me around 1030. just to see if i was out or available to talk.

he likes to do that.

i separated out his cds from my four monstrous cases this week. the day before i had my puppy play date.

i took him a bag of his keepsake stuff. and warned him when i passed it off.

mostly it was stuff of his he'd put with mine. things that belonged to his father that he inherited when he died. old pictures of dead friends. things of that nature.

i got the cable for my ipod and a few of the blank cds i'd left at the house. he doesn't realize that it was new when i left him, and that he only gave me a quarter of them. but i'll take it. not worth mentioning.

i have all that i need.

other than these things, my day was insignificant.

i ran around a lot today at work. and came home early to get some things accomplished. which i did.

and then watched tv online.

same as yesterday. or the day before. i can't remember. i had several episodes of lost, the office, and modern family to see. and i did. it felt good to laugh. and cry.

i realized that i missed one or two fringe that aren't up anymore. so i don't want to finish off the season, because i don't want to miss what was in the middle.


loneliness sets in.

a boy from work asked me to go to a play tonight. he knows ever, and the situation. he said that he's happy to drag me out if that is what i need. he went through a five or six year breakup right before i left ever. so he knows.

i guess i was too afraid of it feeling like a date to go. he's a customer, too. so it was easier to say no.

but i should have gone.

at least then i could have dressed up. and had somewhere to go. and someone to talk with.

again. with the thing where i keep myself from doing things that would be fun.

maybe i'm punishing myself.

maybe i am afraid of fun with someone i don't know too well.

maybe i am afraid of boys.

i saw 1111 at work today. i think i wished for the next game of scrabble. second time this week i saw it. i think the first wish was to pass the inspection.

at least i got the first one. and now, for the the third time this week, i'm making a wish.

but i can't say what it is, or it won't come true...

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