rtw 80. 11/15/10

i used to be... but now...


i used to be a fatalist, but now i am a realist.

i used to be an optimist, have become a pessimist, but now i am returning to being an optimist.


i used to think that there was only one person for me, but now i know that i was wrong.


i used to think that i was happy, but now i wonder if i ever was.


i used to think that i was a wife, but now i am divorcing.


i used to think that i was a good writer, but now i struggle again to write outside my experience.

i used to think that i could only write when i was heartbroken, but now i struggle to write despite being heartbroken.


i used to think that i could only write if i was a smoker, but now i am just a smoker.


i used to think that everything happened for a reason, but now i wonder.

i used to think that there was a god, but now i think that is impossible.


i used to think that i had to fight for what i wanted and dreamed, but now i think everything is easier if i don't fight it.


i used to think that i was in love, but now i wonder if any of it was ever real.


i used to think that i'd found my home, but now i wonder where i'll end up.

i used to think that i'd never move home, and now it's where i want to go.


i used to think that i'd rather do something insignificant in a big place where i was just a number, but now i think i'd rather do something great in a place that is small, comfortable, and familiar, where i know a lot of people.


i used to think that i feel, but now i think maybe i made it all up.

i used to think that i needed a muse, but now i keep looking for a new one.


i used to think that i was different.

but now i think that i am the same.

No comments:

Post a Comment