'if one was looking for something to do, where might one go?'
buzz. view message.
'where i last saw you.'
i was already halfway there. having a glass of wine to cure my boredom. paid, tipped. left, walking briskly.
i walked in. he was happy to see me, or so it seemed.
we talked for a while. over my second glass of wine.
i had something very specific in mind. 'what are you doing tonight?'
'hanging out with you?' smiles.
'wanna go on a tiny suburban adventure with me?'
'yep.' we left, locked arms.
i drove to my parents' house. he'd been there only once before, not inside. on a similar adventure years before. i wondered if he remembered.
we chatted on the way, but traveled mostly in silence betwen us, listening to a deliberate mix. i pulled into the driveway. left the car running with him in it.
i went inside, grabbing my laptop and heima. my ipod and a splitter with two sets of headphones. i wouldn't tell him that i'd planned for this. mom was baking, a tray of cookies was warm from the oven. i grabbed three in a napkin and went back to the car, handing him two.
'my mom's been baking.'
he savored, slowly, each bite.
put the car in reverse, pulling up to the stop sign. 'alright. i grabbed a movie and a way to watch it. where should we go?'
he thought for a few seconds.
i offered, 'how about a field somewhere?' it was a mild night, the kind perfect for laying out in it, in the dark, lit only by the moon and the stars.
so i drove back toward the city, to a lake with which i'm quite familiar.
parked under that same tree. pulled the blanket from the trunk. spread it out and set up camp.
i turned it on, and started the movie.
i'd been waiting for this for a very long time.
we watched in silence, my head on his chest, the laptop warm on his belly.
i cried at times, couldn't help it. it has that effect on me.
the movie ended over an hour later, but we weren't ready to leave yet.
'it's a good thing i grabbed music then.'
handed him headphones, but had the volume down so we could still talk.
'tell me something. anything...' i said, my head was still on his chest, he squirmed slightly, and started telling me a story.
my mind wasn't following entirely, i could never concentrate when i was thinking about him, and the same was true now, listening to him.
we fell asleep to the music. he stirred and woke me. i sighed, 'oops. i fell asleep. should i take you home?'
'sure, will you come inside?'
'sure.' i tried to hide my smile. it was dark, but i think he still saw.
his place was not as i'd imagined it. familiar art adorned two walls. a simple space, a house. the wood floors i'd imagined, knowing he lived in the historic district. the last place i'd known was sparsely filled. mostly with a stereo and music. he still had that, only a tv now, and movies. we sat on the couch, nervously.
continued other conversations we'd started earlier. he poured two glasses of wine. we talked until my need for a cigarette kept me from sitting longer. took the wine onto his porch, staring into dewy grass.
'this isn't how i thought it would be.' i launched into the story of my recent life, he listened contently, hugging me as things got hard to talk about.
'it's unsettling, you know?'
he knew. not from experience at all. but from the way i explained myself to him.
'your turn,' i said, tired of hearing myself talk about my life.
two cigarettes later, we'd reached th ebottom of our glasses.
'i'm getting sleepy,' he said, tired. 'would you like to come take a nap with me?'
i obliged. it was how we were. curling up in all of our clothes, perfect spoons, sometimes he was big and i was little, sometimes i was big and he was little. i watched him sleep for a while, then followed suit. amidst nightdreams of being with him, waking up to re-realize i was really with him. excited for a moment, then falling asleep. repeatedly until the sun was about to come up.
he woke up, nuzzled into my neck, head on my chest. i liked his breath there, but knew i needed to be home. i didn't want to see the sun come up. i didn't want the night to end.
' i should go.' i slowly got up, put on my shoes, watching him watching me. 'thanks for having me.'
'this was nice. will i see you again before you leave?'
i tried to wait to respond, changing my answer from an emphatic yes, to 'well, that all depends. gimme a call if you want to hang out again.'
he nodded, walked me to the door, watched me pull away.
the sky was turning from navy to turquoise. the sunrise was near. i raced it home, beating it just in time to get into pjs, and smiled. i fell asleep. the best sleep i'd had in years.