happy place. march 13th.

it's a little weird. i'm watching crybaby. finally.

i do love johnny depp. and young johnny depp? yeah.


today was a crazy day. i think i might have overdone it.

i'm so exhausted. and i need a shower like what. i laid around for the better part of the morning. i guess i woke up at 1030, in light of daylight saving. and got up at noon to start working.

i finished the floor in the shop. which took a long time. but it looks amazing. like nothing ever happened. i could kill ever. i wished him harm for the entirety of the six or so hours it took to clean up his mess. i told lauren last night that i wanted to kick him in the nuts and punch him in the throat, all at the same time. would it kill him to do that? i hope not. i just want to maim him.

what an asshole.


but once it was done, and had aired out for the better part of the day, i started unpacking up there, and setting everything up.

and now? i have my happy place.

i have a guest room, full size bed, all pretty and cozy.

i have an office, with a desk and a lamp and everything. i just need to get kit's roll-y office chair to complete it.

and i have an art space. all my supplies are up there. and my easel.

it's so exciting.

i can't wait until this work is done, on my end, so that i can make some art, and use my new happy place for its intended purposes.

house guests. art. work.

it's going to be awesome.


so after a weekend spent working my ass off, i'm going to work this week completely exhausted.

i had expected and feared having all this time off this week. and instead, i got screwed (royally) and had to work every single day. no rest for the weary. and this week? that's me.

it would be so nice to have a day off this week, but i don't see how it could even happen. i'd love to take a day without pay. to just sleep and be lazy. and get a little work done. and be lazy some more.


this movie's pretty funny. i liked the part where the girl's mom, in court, says, 'your honor? can we please get our daughter the fuck out of here?'

and the part where the warden tells crybaby that he's getting a haircut. and he gags.

awesome.

closest thing to a musical that i can say i like. except for the bits with licking the tears. and drinking the tears. ugh.


in dating site news, i messaged a few more boys. winks and whatnot. and i didn't hear anything back about it, but am feeling better and better about approaching boys. getting some balls, to try to do it in real life.

and i'm really hoping that one boy doesn't flake on me. the alot. i keep thinking about what it will be like. what i'll wear. what i'll say. where we'll go.

i have NO IDEA.

what do you say on a first date? how ridiculous is it that i haven't ever done this before? pretty goddamn ridiculous.

i should be well versed in this by now. i mean, rusty, but i should know the basics.

i guess it goes something like this:

1. hi, i'm tea. (hi, i'm alot.)

then i order a beer before progressing to the next question.

2. so what do you do - you're a student? (yeah.)

3. what do you study? (i have no idea what he will say...)

then what? i feel so unprepared. for a date that might not even happen. it's why i really wanted a practice date before one that matters to me.

oh, well.


i'm going to try to sleep. i don't know if i will be able to. i know the clock says ten, but it feels like nine. and i hate showering at night, because i almost always take them to wake up in the morning. but i had to get one. dirty and tired and achy. and the hottest shower i could stand made me feel much, much better.

thing is, i had a beer early, at like five. and another with dinner at 730. i want one more. and i shouldn't. tomorrow is going to be a little bit of an ordeal, with getting to work. i have to drive to the apartment and leave my car there. walk to work. all because i didn't have the movers bring breezey to the house. i need to clean there anyways, and then i can do that after work.

it will all be fine. just adjusting to the new routine is a bit pesky.

i've really missed my old neighborhood this weekend. being so close to favorite bar, being so close to kit. feeling safe.

last night some crazy person was having a screaming fight and doing something that sounded like taking a hammer to someone's house in the street. it woke me up and scared me.

i'll reacclimate in due time, i guess.