so last night, i posted. and i started trying to sleep. and i was in bed at about 1015. and i know i was still awake at midnight. doing tired math regarding the number of hours i was going to sleep. and even that tired, i knew it didn't look good.
at 1130, i realized that some nyquil might make the buzz i didn't achieve not a factor in my ability to pass out.
so i took that, and had a smoke, two hours after the 'last smoke of the night'. and got into bed. and eventually, i did fall asleep.
only to wake up at 2 am in a panic. because my neighbors were having a ridiculously loud fight in the middle of the street outside my window.
despite earplugs, i could hear every word. which was a girl (woman?) yelling to open the door over and over and over again.
i gave them a couple minutes to resolve their problem before i got up to look out, blindly, to see what was actually happening. and the girl was pulling on a car door, the car was running in the street. and they wouldn't let her in, if that was even what she wanted.
i called the cops at 123am. and said, 'i have a non-emergency. my neighbors are having a domestic dispute in the street outside my window. can you please send the cops?'
and they were on the scene within a minute. i guess the best thing about living pretty much in the hood is the strategic placement of a precinct two blocks from my house.
what was crazier is that someone else had already called the cops earlier in the evening when a fight broke out down the street, while aubree and i were hanging out on the deck and heard a lot of shouting, but couldn't make out what the fight was about.
i assume it was the same girl, who that same evening, was yelling from the second step of a stoop, past a mom in the doorway, at someone inside. three cop cars showed up then, driving the wrong way down the one way alley along the side of my house. and they patted down some guys that were walking outside the front of my house, went to see what was going on, and left.
but a minute after i called, they were pulling the girl off the car, while she begged, 'please open the door, they're going to arrest me or some shit.'
and the passengers didn't. and the cops did. and all i could hear as they loaded her into the car literally below my alarm clock, was that she didn't give a fuck. take her away. she didn't give a FUCK. and so they did.
despite my racing heart, and despite the stress of being up and calling the cops and laying there awake until well after two am, i didn't have another smoke. because i knew that i'd be up until 3 if i did. and at that point, i was only getting another 3 hour nap before going to suck store.
i managed to calm down and fall back asleep, i'd assume at about 230. and hit snooze twice when my alarm went off at 545 this morning.
somehow i wasn't late.
and robbie showed up a couple hours later, looking more tired than i have ever seen him. saying he had just been sitting in his van for 30 minutes, literally unable to make himself get out and load my delivery to bring it in to me. he scared the shit out of me, because he will fall asleep at the wheel, at stoplights, on occasion. at least this was broad daylight. but still.
this morning was the first time i had nothing to say to him. i hugged him the second i saw him, wanting to feel better after such a shitty start to my morning. and figuring out just how tired he was, after asking when i can bring aubree by to see him. and then telling him nevermind, when he couldn't even form a sentence explaining that there either was or was not going to be a good time. and told him to let me know if there's anything we can do to help.
that we make a great team and that we'd be happy to lend our services to help him out. and we stood by each other, not talking for maybe ten minutes while i made drinks, before he left.
it was sad. i was feeling awful and couldn't pull him out of it. and he was too tired to make small talk and feel better. it sucked.
and then he was gone and it was busy, and i was an erratic mess. but i survived my day, and made it home to talk to aubree when she got home from work.
like puppy daughter, i was on the deck and heard my bike coming down the alley and knew she was home. i ran through the house from the deck, and opened the door to let her in, welcoming her home from her first day.
and we have been talking about that, and visiting while we wait for the game and corndogs for dinner, with matthew, and probably mike.
mike, aubree, and i make a cute little orphaned family unit. no parents. living freely, and having fun.
while the cat moms are away, the little mice will play.
i'm super glad she had a great first day. i'm glad that she's not in over her head, and that she likes the doctor she's interning with. he's a mess, but she should be able to deal with him. tomorrow she takes her first trip to the mouse house. big day for little sister. i have a clue of where she'll be and what she'll be doing.
and thanks to caffeinating people, i know all the doctors she works with. it's pretty awesome to feel like i've done a good thing and influenced her in a positive way.
i really do believe that this is a great jumping off point for her. and saying as she's already gotten three job offers, before her first day, i know i'm not exaggerating or making it sound better than it really is. well paying jobs being offered to someone who isn't even established on campus yet, fresh after graduation, is a very exciting circumstance indeed.
i've done something selfish that is going to be super rewarding for her.
here's to hoping that all my selfish decisions pay off in the same way. i try to make as few as possible.
and moving forward, i can't think of any more that i need to make, at this moment in time. and that feels better to me. so i'll take it...