sleep less. august 30th.

i don't know what happened.

probably, it was due to the coffee i was still sipping on at about 3 yesterday afternoon.

i did not sleep at all last night.

i don't think i dozed off until about 515 this morning, just before my alarm went off.

i only know i slept then, because i was having a very weird dream about my family, and my grandfather.

i turned off the lights and computer at 1030. i saw the clock hit 11, 12, i know i saw it just before 1, and at 3, 4, and 5 am.

it was a lot of tossing and turning, and looking at the clock every hour on the hour for certain. and trying to figure out how it was that i couldn't sleep.


it might have been a change in temperature. it was so hot yesterday. i only caved and turned the ac back on when i was going to sleep. maybe it was too cool. maybe the fan was too loud.

i know that, at a point, i was super itchy.

there were probably mosquitoes buzzing about, biting me while i slept.


whatever it was, it was horrid. and i don't know how i'm feeling okay right now. i was ill when i woke up.

more coffee. that's how i feel okay right now.

uppers and downers. uppers and downers.


back at sucky store, this time with a little more feeling. because this time i have internet again.

oh, scrabble. how you salvage my sanity.

i'm already hungry, it's an hour til lunch food is ready, and i'm staring down slices of pound cake.

it's so unfair.

should i warn chalk that i've put on a good ten pounds since he was here last?

i can't squeeze into some of my clothes that i bought when i was home. and i need to do something about it, but i don't have the will power right now.

maybe after he leaves. he told me i could afford to put on a few pounds when he was here last. so i'll take it.


i cannot wait until the weekend.

i'm so excited for the mountains. i wish i could afford a cozy little cabin out in the middle of nowhere. but the hotel will have to do.

it's exciting to be going in the car. it's exciting to be getting out of the city. it's exciting to be doing something new. again.


it's funny, all this thinking about boys...

i woke up yesterday from a dream about intern.

it was a nice dream. i think we were probably making out. maybe he was my boyfriend. but i woke up wishing i could go back to sleep and continue the dream, just to have a little more of his attention.

but i didn't. or if i dozed back off, it was over. but i don't think i even tried.


and then, last night, i was thinking about that boy from the party.

what would i even do with a boy like that? that's what i was thinking about.

for someone who can't date, what do you do? it's not that primal urge to sleep with him. he just seems like someone who would be fun to spend time with, as a friend, and i'd make out with him. but what would we do? go see a show? we probably like similar music. have a game night? go to the bar?

i wonder how young he is. he's definitely younger than me, but i don't know by how much. i can't really tell. maybe he's 25 or something.

i mentioned him to kim and she gave him two thumbs up.


oh, boys.

i guess the thing about him, which is what i keep thinking, is that i think 'i met a boy'.

not like, smitten. but i met someone notable. because i pushed my boundaries. and i do hope i see him again. because i like to laugh. and he was witty. and i think if nothing else, we'd be friends.


that's where my head is.

for a lot of time again this weekend, my mind was on ever things. but not really today. today i'm very distracted. and it's going to be a long week.

today and tomorrow at crappy store.

wednesday hammering down panini menus.

thursday will be office day.

friday possibly moving crappy store or more panini time.


then chalk.

then the mountains.

then back to life.

but those four days...

i cannot wait.