leftovers. december 3rd.

so these were things i didn't get to talk about yesterday...

first thing in the morning, robbie came for a visit. which was awesome. we both had a lot to talk about. he hung around for a while.

(i wasn't even busy this morning at all. i've been hanging out mostly alone all day long. goofing off on fb as per the usual.)

marital inventory.

so, the divorce is going to court. already knew this. when this happens, a judge splits up all the stuff for you. it sucks.

the car will be dragged into it, the business, everything we own.

it really sucks, because i didn't want it to come to this.

but ever is being a jackass, so now it is.

i'm actually pretty scared.

i gave everything going in, and now he is going to get half again coming out. why does it have to be this way?

just keep your eyes on the prize, tea. the house will sell. and you can buy anything that you want.

mortgage people.

after checking online to make sure that ever still hadn't paid the bill, i called them to get info.

of course, it went to the collections department. of course they tried to get a payment from me, more than once.

of course, they have been unable to reach ever, despite calling him every day.

of course, my credit is already being negatively affected as far as they are concerned. we're now 32 days delinquent. by we i mean he, but my credit score.

i thought it was delightful when the nice man on the phone offered to take my name off of the account if i was concerned with my credit, since i'm in the divorce process.

i said, 'doesn't that mean that i wouldn't own the house anymore?'

and he said, 'yes.'

is he serious????? what a fucking dolt.

there should really be a way to have rights in this situation. i can't believe that i am dealing with this.


so after that awesomeness, i called my lawyer to pay the retainer over the phone.

and he sent me the emergency hearing petition to look over. it's pretty interesting. what it means is that we're asking a judge to force ever to make the house payments and insurance payments on time.

i hope it works.

i am still insanely confused about how this whole legal process works, and i really do hope that my lawyer isn't the one confusing me. now that we're on this whole hourly basis thing, i know all about rounding up billable hours, and i hope he doesn't fuck me over royally.

i think that the emergency petition is separate from the equitable distribution of marital property hearing. i think this is just to get a court order against him, and that the divorce hearing will be later down the road.

can't this shit be over with already? he's going to take me to the cleaners. fml. let's just get it over with...

onto some things that are a little brighter.

mono lake.

so a while back, i made a list of all the little places from southern california to portland that i wanted to go to on my stargazing road trip.

while i was looking at each place, in an effort to see how far apart the places were, and how many days of driving it would take to really get to each one, i was goofing off on google maps.

and while i was on yosemite, exploring to see where there were roads, and how scary it would be to drive there because it is so far removed from civilization, i stumbled upon this little lake that was nearby, called mono lake.

the water looked cool on the map, so i zoomed in as far as it would let me. and there was this little island in the middle. i don't know. i started daydreaming. is there a house on the island? is there a boat on the map because one happened to be there when they took the images? could i explore the lake?

what i didn't know then was what was going on at mono lake.

yesterday, when i read the first post about the discovery at mono lake, i was trying to figure out why the strange name sounded so familiar to me. about two seconds later, i realized what i was thinking of. i went back to google maps. sure enough.

alien (in the strictest sense of the word) dna was discovered there. at the little lake i stared at maybe a month ago.

what are the chances? the only other lake i've ever done that with is tahoe, and that's only because i'm so familiar with driving around it that i wanted to see what it looked like from above.

all this only a day after another similar incident.

i went to the bar alone on monday night to have dinner. so i took the book i've been trying to read for the last couple months. i don't know why i'm so non-committal about it, but i have had the hardest time making myself read it, even though it's pretty interesting.

so i was at the bar, reading 'awakening intuition'. and i was only reading for maybe 20 minutes. not a lot.

but the chapter was about how our brains store memories. how some people think that every single thing we see/hear/feel/smell/taste is stored in our brains somewhere forever. how some people think that it's all stored, but if it's not accessed immediately, the connection to it is lost. and the role sleep plays, with dreams, to process all of this information. to try out possible future scenarios/outcomes while we sleep. and how it might be a process of discarding things as well. how we'd never remember something that we saw laying on the ground when we walked past it, unless we had an experience that made us remember it (like slipping on a bottlecap).

so the next night, i was talking to kit about dreams. and then i went home. and saw a post about new research talking about sleep and memories. research supporting the very thing i was reading about at the bar the night before.

in my book called 'awakening intuition'. after the dream about snow on thanksgiving morning, to wake up and see snow falling. i still can't believe it.

it's all pretty strange. and i always love those collective consciousness things. they happen in threes, so maybe it's over now.

in any case, it was eerie while it lasted.

and now? i need to locate some food. i'm hungry. and really overly ready to go home. it is so super dead here today. i forgot that fridays tend to suck. and i'm back on monday. woo hoo.

can't hardly wait.

* * *


cleaning up the shop and remembering something that i started to realize yesterday, and came to fully realize today.

okay. so this goes back to the thing with the elevens.

alright. obsessed, right?

so it all started the year i was born. 1977. 77 is a multiple of 11.

my 11th birthday was spent welcoming my sister to the world in our brand new house in a brand new neighborhood. we didn't have carpet yet when i had my party. crazy stuff.

i just realized that i was telling my shrink on monday that i haven't enjoyed a birthday since my 22nd.

my 22nd birthday was spent moping because the excitement of 21 had worn off. i had just moved home a few weeks before from tahoe. i was depressed, and had just retreated to my parents' house after being on my own for a year.

and now here i am, about to celebrate my 33rd birthday. and i'm retreating home again, after being on my own for almost eight years.

it's interesting that this is my 11 year cycle as an adult. move home every eleven years? wow.

i realized this because i was thinking about how 2011 is right around the corner. i'll be 33 for most of '11. and then thinking back, realized i was 22 in '99 and 11 in '88.

i just thought it was funny. and that i should add it to this post.

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