weekend's end. april 11th.

you know, this weekend was a killer.

i haven't been blogging so much because i made the switch to paper journal. i hadn't written in it since my birthday back in december. and i have managed to write so much in this past couple weeks since boys have been wreaking havoc on my head.

i save the sex stories and fights for that one...

all the dark shit that i can't cop to on the internet.


friday was such a crazy day. well, starting with thursday night. all i wanted, all day friday, was to call out of work sick, lay in bed, and write the whole day. instead, i had a hectic day, spent driving all over creation in the pouring rain. it was so cold. it was so dreary.

and i was so tired. it was the day of emphatic states of being.

i was high from that boy. i was excited for life. i was excited for spring, because whe the rain cleared that night, the weekend was set to be in the mid 60s, and there was a road trip on my agenda.


it's now almost one am. i'm on an insomnia kick which may or may not kill me. i've now sat down to write this post three times and i'm giving up. i'll catch up on it later.

when i started this post, i started with the last two sentences after suffering an insufferable silent treatment.

it said:

maybe the hardest part of growing up is communicating even when you don't want to.

especially when you don't want to.


it's something ever always faulted me for. it's something i work on daily. and it will always ALWAYS be a struggle for me. but i'm getting better. and that is a great place to go up from...