help, i'm alive. june 2nd.

'my heart keeps beating like a hammer...'

three hours of dinner and drinks. no touching even.

and still? so turned on and smitten. even when he pulls the responsibility card and goes home without coming inside before heading home.

he is just too good to be true.

i'm glad for the pacing. it's going to slow me down with him. which is something i NEVER choose, and always have kicked myself for in hindsight.

i'm glad we didn't go to the movies as planned. being in a dark room would have proved impossible.

i don't even have much to say tonight. just that i'm happy.

really really happy.

and i'll get over the fact that some boy is the person making me this happy. because the last year of having happy times alone makes me feel okay with this phase of influenced happiness.

it will be okay. and no matter what happens, i'll still be standing. even if it ends.

the butterflies were a nice surprise, getting ready tonight. i was afraid that part would be over, because i'm so comfortable with him... but it's not. they're still there. :)

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