so ever couldn't figure it out on his own.
he texted me last night, asking when i have some time in front of the computer to help him figure it all out.
i texted him back that there's nothing to figure out. that he needs to go to the bank with $450 to fix his mistake.
yesterday, in my work-related daily trip to the bank, i asked them what will happen, after they said he hadn't fixed it yet.
they will take it from my own account if he doesn't fix it within thirty days.
i have to keep an eye on it.
jerk.
i fought every urge in my body to blast him with 'good thing you didn't file that restraining order', or 'i thought you wanted to prevent me from having any contact with you. i don't think i'm supposed to interact with you', or 'have your lawyer contact my lawyer'.
and while we're on this topic, i was talking to kit last night about the whole 'ever asking my lawyer about my sex life' thing, and i know what it is about it that gets to me.
he was on a dating website. six weeks after i left him. he gave up the right to say anything to me about anything related to sex/dating/relationships when he did that.
and while we're on the subject some more...
about the car.
it's mine.
it makes me picture us in a courtroom battling it out:
lawyer: 'yes, ever. what type of oil is in the car?'
ever: 'i don't know.'
lawyer: 'right. which tires were replaced?'
ever: 'i don't know.'
lawyer: 'when the tires are low, what psi do you fill them to?'
ever: 'i don't know.'
lawyer: 'how much does a gallon of gas cost right now? or in the last month? or year?'
ever: 'i don't know.'
lawyer: 'how much is the car payment?'
ever: 'i don't know.'
lawyer: 'how much is the insurance payment?'
ever: 'i don't know.'
yes. that's right. ever has never vacuumed out the car, has maybe put gas in the car three times in the last two years, never taken it for an oil change, or any other service, has never filled the tires when they are low.
he liked to wait in the passenger seat of the car and watch me do all of these things.
and never paid a car-related bill.
what a man.
but, sure, ever. go ahead. you deserve half of the car. take it.
all this thinking is ruining my drive. it's ruining my desire to sleep with boys. it's ruining my days even.
being stuck in a dead store for ten days is a lethal combo. because i have nothing to do but think. and i'm not in the mood to think about chalk or anyone else like that. i just think about ever. and everything he's doing. and not doing. and everything he wants. or doesn't.
maybe if i just think about how much he's going to have to pay on retainer, that will help. the thought of him coughing up a grand right now makes me pee my pants. and that would be almost as cheap as what i found.
and i doubt he has anything to pay.
i just keep thinking about the house. the basement. all the things i still have in there for my work. i'm going to have to pay the dudes to move it all out for me, so i don't have to go back and so he doesn't have to touch any of it. he can just direct them. and then it's over. if only i had somewhere to put it all...
i wouldn't be surprised if he threw it out.
so help me god.
i keep trying to calm down, thinking of different ways to get back at him. or put it out of my mind. and then i think of something else he might have done. or could do.
yesterday i kept thinking i'd have to go back with a police escort. due to the threat of the restraining order. and in order to keep things civil. and in case he did something stupid somewhere along the line.
ever likes to break things. it doesn't matter if they aren't his to break.
all it takes is one bad day. one temper tantrum.
trust me. i know.
aside from that, i'd like to believe that i'll be seeing the perseid shower tomorrow night. but i'll be exhausted for nate on friday if i do. i think it was supposed to peak tomorrow. but there might be some craziness tonight.
i just wanna go lay in a field somewhere on my back. stare at the sky.
and try to forget all the bullshit ever puts me through, or at least cast it aside.
when i stare at the stars, whether or not they're moving, nothing else really seems to matter.
adultery. august 10th.
it's my mom's birthday today. and i'm disgracing her with this naughty little post. best daughter ever.
it seems every day that ever just keeps one upping himself.
yesterday, with the overdrafting of the checking account. i emailed him to tell him, and he wrote me back asking what he had paid and amounts so he could figure out what he did.
i don't know. i emailed him back the account number and ballpark figures.
he can figure it out. or not. not my problem.
i was so tempted to give him all of the info and recommend that he go to the bank to straighten it out.
then i realized, 'wait. he did this on his own. he can figure it out. it's no longer my job to do that for him.' not that it ever was, but... i'm not going to help him any more than i have to. which is pretty much not at all.
so i wrote the lawyer at work yesterday.
i wanted to tell him about the restraining order threat (for lack of a better word - it was probably more like a nod in the direction of, but whatever).
and i mentioned my idea about the house now vs later.
and about the car.
and sent that off.
and he called me this morning to give me the updates.
so we have this conversation. he says that the house thing is fine. usually they want to make it a year off, to simplify. fine. whatever.
then said that he was working on the agreement, but that he didn't hear from the lawyer ever claimed to have as his lawyer.
and his read on that? that ever hasn't retained him as a lawyer. that he's basically getting advice, but nothing else.
so when ever called, he was asking my lawyer questions. and any lawyer in their right mind would tell him to ask them, not his wife's lawyer.
saying as how he doesn't have a lawyer to ask, i guess, he thought it was a good idea.
i don't really understand it.
i don't understand anything he is doing right now, because i think he's kinda losing his mind.
anyways, so ever asks a question. and the lawyer kinda preps me for what he's about to say.
it was after he told me other things ever was saying and asking about.
he said something like, i just want you to know that he was asking about this, so that if it matters to you, or if you think maybe he's watching you or following you, you can be careful.
he said ever asked him about separation. to which my lawyer said there isn't really legal separation anymore. and that ever asked, 'so what happens if she's having sex with someone else?'
WHAAAAAAAAAT?
and i was just saying to him, 'that's crazy. that's crazy.'
and thinking in my brain that i hadn't had sex with anyone at the time when he called the lawyer. so it was purely speculation, or curiosity, or suspicions at the time he asked it.
and what the lawyer told him was that it really doesn't matter or change anything.
and i hope that is true.
but i went ahead and untagged pics and erased comments that may or may not have been slightly incriminating.
he was telling me more like a warning. like 'hey, your husband knows where you live now, and is asking about something you might be doing, and just be aware that he is asking.'
way to go, ever.
you've stooped to an all new low. and now i know what you're most concerned about. not the car, not the house. those are just ways you'll try to make me pay for leaving you. you said it before. you can't stand the thought of me being with someone else. and maybe i had that whole restraining order thing all backwards. maybe you don't want me to bring someone with me, as opposed to me catching you with someone else.
selfish piece of shit. you don't want to fight for me. but you don't want anyone else to get me either.
i'm actually kinda worried for him. i thought about telling his doctor, but that would make me seem like the crazy one. he's on his own now. if he needs mental help, he'll have to find it on his own. those days, for me, are over.
it's just that he's starting to speak what he's thinking, and it's a little alarming.
hopefully the lawyer is right, because just last night i asked chalk to come back in the end of september. for a destination weekend. i don't know what, or where, but you'd better believe it will be far from my little apartment.
psycho ex husband. duck and cover. annie grab your stun-guns.
it's over, ever. it's over. let it go. just go home.
it seems every day that ever just keeps one upping himself.
yesterday, with the overdrafting of the checking account. i emailed him to tell him, and he wrote me back asking what he had paid and amounts so he could figure out what he did.
i don't know. i emailed him back the account number and ballpark figures.
he can figure it out. or not. not my problem.
i was so tempted to give him all of the info and recommend that he go to the bank to straighten it out.
then i realized, 'wait. he did this on his own. he can figure it out. it's no longer my job to do that for him.' not that it ever was, but... i'm not going to help him any more than i have to. which is pretty much not at all.
so i wrote the lawyer at work yesterday.
i wanted to tell him about the restraining order threat (for lack of a better word - it was probably more like a nod in the direction of, but whatever).
and i mentioned my idea about the house now vs later.
and about the car.
and sent that off.
and he called me this morning to give me the updates.
so we have this conversation. he says that the house thing is fine. usually they want to make it a year off, to simplify. fine. whatever.
then said that he was working on the agreement, but that he didn't hear from the lawyer ever claimed to have as his lawyer.
and his read on that? that ever hasn't retained him as a lawyer. that he's basically getting advice, but nothing else.
so when ever called, he was asking my lawyer questions. and any lawyer in their right mind would tell him to ask them, not his wife's lawyer.
saying as how he doesn't have a lawyer to ask, i guess, he thought it was a good idea.
i don't really understand it.
i don't understand anything he is doing right now, because i think he's kinda losing his mind.
anyways, so ever asks a question. and the lawyer kinda preps me for what he's about to say.
it was after he told me other things ever was saying and asking about.
he said something like, i just want you to know that he was asking about this, so that if it matters to you, or if you think maybe he's watching you or following you, you can be careful.
he said ever asked him about separation. to which my lawyer said there isn't really legal separation anymore. and that ever asked, 'so what happens if she's having sex with someone else?'
WHAAAAAAAAAT?
and i was just saying to him, 'that's crazy. that's crazy.'
and thinking in my brain that i hadn't had sex with anyone at the time when he called the lawyer. so it was purely speculation, or curiosity, or suspicions at the time he asked it.
and what the lawyer told him was that it really doesn't matter or change anything.
and i hope that is true.
but i went ahead and untagged pics and erased comments that may or may not have been slightly incriminating.
he was telling me more like a warning. like 'hey, your husband knows where you live now, and is asking about something you might be doing, and just be aware that he is asking.'
way to go, ever.
you've stooped to an all new low. and now i know what you're most concerned about. not the car, not the house. those are just ways you'll try to make me pay for leaving you. you said it before. you can't stand the thought of me being with someone else. and maybe i had that whole restraining order thing all backwards. maybe you don't want me to bring someone with me, as opposed to me catching you with someone else.
selfish piece of shit. you don't want to fight for me. but you don't want anyone else to get me either.
i'm actually kinda worried for him. i thought about telling his doctor, but that would make me seem like the crazy one. he's on his own now. if he needs mental help, he'll have to find it on his own. those days, for me, are over.
it's just that he's starting to speak what he's thinking, and it's a little alarming.
hopefully the lawyer is right, because just last night i asked chalk to come back in the end of september. for a destination weekend. i don't know what, or where, but you'd better believe it will be far from my little apartment.
psycho ex husband. duck and cover. annie grab your stun-guns.
it's over, ever. it's over. let it go. just go home.
consistency. august 9th.
dumb dumb dumb.
that's how my life is going to be for the next ten days.
with a two day break, wherein nate rescues me from day in day out utter boredom.
day one at stupid store that i hate.
luckily kit saved me from total loss and despair by having a comcast password to connect to the internet in the hospital.
brilliant fix.
what it meant was that, after about two solid hours of scrubbing a filthy store, i read for about thirty minutes, my first hemingway book, 'the sun also rises', recommended by squeaky.
then, facebook.
all day long.
i didn't do much other than play scrabble as friends popped on to play.
mostly, it was being online. reading articles that my smart friends post. being connected in general.
and going back and forth between that and the book.
it was chill. i'm not going to lie. it was cake. but i hate feeling like i'm wasting my time. and believe me, i am. i am goofing off all day. because other than a deep clean, there is quite literally nothing to do. except read and space out. with whatever music i feel like listening to.
today was a respectable mix of regina spektor, norah jones, pinback, and john lee hooker. no customers complained. today was a good day.
and landlord must have known not to come in. because i didn't have to see him. i would have had a hard time hiding my intense disdain for him had he shown his face.
i probably would have asked him to leave. and the two customers i had probably would have held him down while i punched him in the big nose.
aside from that, imagine my surprise tonight when i balanced my checkbook after work. i had the old account that ever and i had jointly still associated with my new separate account. i don't know why, but when i log in to my new one, it shows the old one.
and since march, there's been 84.73 in the account. i never closed it after giving it a month to show no activity.
i guess i kinda couldn't. not without him.
anyway, so tonight i log in. and it showed the two account balances. mine had more than i thought it would. which was pretty awesome, saying as i paid the credit cards down $500 this month.
and that joint account? negative $381. yeah. ever paid some past due bills with the old account. i'm assuming on accident.
and despite the whole 'restraining order' thing, i went ahead and emailed him.
he can fix the shit.
luckily it's not attached to my new account. do you know how pissed i'd have been if i had gone into my account and it was overdrawn because of ever.
i didn't bother to tell him that they charged him $50 in overdraft fees. i just told him what the balance needs to be returned to.
fucking dumbass piece of shit. that's what he gets for being an asshole.
i win $5 on my lottery tickets. he gets $50 in insufficient funds.
insufficient funds. how does that sum him up so very concisely? absolutely perfectly.
god. i wish the worst for him. i never thought i'd say that. obviously, i don't want him to die or get cancer or anything that horrible. but anything just short of that? genital warts, maimed, disfigured, ass kicked by someone in the hood, everyone turning on him because they realize what a useless prick he is? PERFECT. i'll take all of those things for him.
i'm so glad to be apart from him. i can't say it enough.
and right after that tangeant, know what makes the most sense to talk about next? wishing to be connected to someone else.
i want to date. i know that i can't. i know that it's a bad idea. in my beer-y silliness on the long walk home the other night, i told kit that i want a boyfriend.
but really, that's not what i want.
i want someone who i can reliably call to come over when i feel like it. not together every day. unless i want to be. and who goes home every night, unless i want him not to.
someone to take me out and treat me well.
that's what i want.
and unfortunately, a fuck buddy will only cover about half of those things.
a long distance fuck buddy? once a month if i'm lucky.
i'm going to ask him to come up in september. i might even offer to pay for his ticket. it's so much easier for him to come here than for me to go there. if i can buy the ticket and not miss work, that would be the best option.
i'd like to go home for labor day, but i just can't. kenna will be here before that, and i'll have two stores to reopen, one to to move if landlord doesn't dick out on me. and then i'll have one to reopen and one to shut down.
other than that, i have nothing new to talk about. just chalk. and ever. divorce and sex. that's all i consist of these days.
that's how my life is going to be for the next ten days.
with a two day break, wherein nate rescues me from day in day out utter boredom.
day one at stupid store that i hate.
luckily kit saved me from total loss and despair by having a comcast password to connect to the internet in the hospital.
brilliant fix.
what it meant was that, after about two solid hours of scrubbing a filthy store, i read for about thirty minutes, my first hemingway book, 'the sun also rises', recommended by squeaky.
then, facebook.
all day long.
i didn't do much other than play scrabble as friends popped on to play.
mostly, it was being online. reading articles that my smart friends post. being connected in general.
and going back and forth between that and the book.
it was chill. i'm not going to lie. it was cake. but i hate feeling like i'm wasting my time. and believe me, i am. i am goofing off all day. because other than a deep clean, there is quite literally nothing to do. except read and space out. with whatever music i feel like listening to.
today was a respectable mix of regina spektor, norah jones, pinback, and john lee hooker. no customers complained. today was a good day.
and landlord must have known not to come in. because i didn't have to see him. i would have had a hard time hiding my intense disdain for him had he shown his face.
i probably would have asked him to leave. and the two customers i had probably would have held him down while i punched him in the big nose.
aside from that, imagine my surprise tonight when i balanced my checkbook after work. i had the old account that ever and i had jointly still associated with my new separate account. i don't know why, but when i log in to my new one, it shows the old one.
and since march, there's been 84.73 in the account. i never closed it after giving it a month to show no activity.
i guess i kinda couldn't. not without him.
anyway, so tonight i log in. and it showed the two account balances. mine had more than i thought it would. which was pretty awesome, saying as i paid the credit cards down $500 this month.
and that joint account? negative $381. yeah. ever paid some past due bills with the old account. i'm assuming on accident.
and despite the whole 'restraining order' thing, i went ahead and emailed him.
he can fix the shit.
luckily it's not attached to my new account. do you know how pissed i'd have been if i had gone into my account and it was overdrawn because of ever.
i didn't bother to tell him that they charged him $50 in overdraft fees. i just told him what the balance needs to be returned to.
fucking dumbass piece of shit. that's what he gets for being an asshole.
i win $5 on my lottery tickets. he gets $50 in insufficient funds.
insufficient funds. how does that sum him up so very concisely? absolutely perfectly.
god. i wish the worst for him. i never thought i'd say that. obviously, i don't want him to die or get cancer or anything that horrible. but anything just short of that? genital warts, maimed, disfigured, ass kicked by someone in the hood, everyone turning on him because they realize what a useless prick he is? PERFECT. i'll take all of those things for him.
i'm so glad to be apart from him. i can't say it enough.
and right after that tangeant, know what makes the most sense to talk about next? wishing to be connected to someone else.
i want to date. i know that i can't. i know that it's a bad idea. in my beer-y silliness on the long walk home the other night, i told kit that i want a boyfriend.
but really, that's not what i want.
i want someone who i can reliably call to come over when i feel like it. not together every day. unless i want to be. and who goes home every night, unless i want him not to.
someone to take me out and treat me well.
that's what i want.
and unfortunately, a fuck buddy will only cover about half of those things.
a long distance fuck buddy? once a month if i'm lucky.
i'm going to ask him to come up in september. i might even offer to pay for his ticket. it's so much easier for him to come here than for me to go there. if i can buy the ticket and not miss work, that would be the best option.
i'd like to go home for labor day, but i just can't. kenna will be here before that, and i'll have two stores to reopen, one to to move if landlord doesn't dick out on me. and then i'll have one to reopen and one to shut down.
other than that, i have nothing new to talk about. just chalk. and ever. divorce and sex. that's all i consist of these days.
angry. and lazy. august 8th.
how is it that ever keeps cropping up in my little brain?
since the text, i've spent too much time being angry at him, and trying to think of ways to not only get back at him, but also to exact revenge.
the thing is, pam and i have talked at work a lot about it. and her take is, 'you shouldn't leave the marriage with anything more than you came into it with'.
and that's what keeps getting to me.
since he's inquiring about the car, i'm mad about that. he didn't have a car coming into it. it was my car that got totaled, and mostly the money from my car that paid for the new one.
since he's being a tool, i just want to sell the house. so what i think i might do, propose to my lawyer, is to give him three options. i need to think about it a little more, but this is how it looks right now:
1. he stays in the house for six months, then we list it. we split it 50/50, after paying everything off.
2. he stays in the house for a year (april). he'll have made $12000 in rent by then, so the split would look more like 70/30. i need to crunch those numbers.
3. he stays in the house for two years (april). he gets the 10% that his income added to qualify us for the house.
that's the essence of it.
it's so unfair.
and i never wanted to be a nasty heartless bitch before.
but fuck him.
now i want my little pile of money.
now i want to have it sooner than later.
and now more than anything, i want to get as far away from interactions with him as possible.
i wish this was just a breakup.
i wish i hadn't gotten the house. or pushed for it.
i wish i'd had the foresight to know that we weren't okay. and that i needed to work all the money stuff out.
him keeping the rent threw me off. and now, if that is his 'income', then he shouldn't get half of it later. because he didn't put in half.
i hate him. i hate wasting time and thought on this.
i want my ignorant bliss back.
it was easier to be afraid of being caught somewhere with someone than it is to think about this.
i really think he's going to try to screw me when all is said and done.
and i hope my lawyer's good and doesn't overcharge me when he does.
i know that no lawyer in his/her right mind would look at our case and recommend a restraining order.
it makes me want to give him a reason to.
it makes me want to say, you know what? i have been missing out on things that make me sad to miss, and if you're going to be a fuckhead anyways, i'll just not miss out on them.
what lawyer would be so smart to tell him that anywhere that he is, in public, becomes his place of work? that's how i know he is lying.
maybe i'm just confused about how a restraining order works. maybe he's just trying to have something pop up that is linked to my name?
i'll be so glad when this is over. i just hope that it's sooner than later, because i'm over it.
i have no emotional turmoil from leaving him, and not being with him anymore. so how is it that i can be this upset and afraid about what he is going to think of next?
it's dumb.
other than that, kit and i went out last night. we walked all the way to center city, which didn't feel as bad as it sounded like it was going to feel.
we were trying to find this bar that she recommended for me to hunt boys. only we couldn't find it, went somewhere i'd been before. and there were no cute boys. until we were leaving. i was too full. miserably full. and couldn't even stomach the thought of a second beer after all the food i'd shoved down my gullet.
it was good, it was fun. but i ruined it by overeating.
we did find the pub on the way home. and i only glimpsed the preps inside. i was too tired, as was she, so we just left without paying the $2 cover to look around and think about a beer.
better for both of us. we went to bed early.
i don't know what this new trend is. i think i went to sleep at 1030 or 11 both friday and saturday.
i know i'll be short on sleep next weekend when nate is here and runs me ragged.
today he said he might bring adorkable with him. this is his main interest at one of his jobs.
i want to meet him. i hope he brings him. i figure two cuties will have a better chance of helping me with my little problem than just one, right?
i mean, what i see happening, is that i have all of my friends helping me. none of them mind or have to really put forth much effort. and i sit back and eventually enjoy the fruits of their labor.
i'm lazy i guess. i think the majority of the beauty of chalk is that he came to me. i didn't have to do anything. i just said yes.
plus, it helps to have a screening process, too. having lustful eyes tends to hide things that i'd like to be able to see. like warning signs. i tend to go completely blind when i have an interest. so the way i see it, it's like putting boys through interviews.
i'll figure out a way to make it worthwhile for anyone who makes more effort than me.
belated birthday brunch with alice.
i'm excited to see her and spend time with her. it's been a whole month.
we have great stories for each other, too.
i don't feel like doing anything today after that. and somehow i'm supposed to bake a cake and some banana bread at kit's. and i really don't feel like it.
life's rough...
since the text, i've spent too much time being angry at him, and trying to think of ways to not only get back at him, but also to exact revenge.
the thing is, pam and i have talked at work a lot about it. and her take is, 'you shouldn't leave the marriage with anything more than you came into it with'.
and that's what keeps getting to me.
since he's inquiring about the car, i'm mad about that. he didn't have a car coming into it. it was my car that got totaled, and mostly the money from my car that paid for the new one.
since he's being a tool, i just want to sell the house. so what i think i might do, propose to my lawyer, is to give him three options. i need to think about it a little more, but this is how it looks right now:
1. he stays in the house for six months, then we list it. we split it 50/50, after paying everything off.
2. he stays in the house for a year (april). he'll have made $12000 in rent by then, so the split would look more like 70/30. i need to crunch those numbers.
3. he stays in the house for two years (april). he gets the 10% that his income added to qualify us for the house.
that's the essence of it.
it's so unfair.
and i never wanted to be a nasty heartless bitch before.
but fuck him.
now i want my little pile of money.
now i want to have it sooner than later.
and now more than anything, i want to get as far away from interactions with him as possible.
i wish this was just a breakup.
i wish i hadn't gotten the house. or pushed for it.
i wish i'd had the foresight to know that we weren't okay. and that i needed to work all the money stuff out.
him keeping the rent threw me off. and now, if that is his 'income', then he shouldn't get half of it later. because he didn't put in half.
i hate him. i hate wasting time and thought on this.
i want my ignorant bliss back.
it was easier to be afraid of being caught somewhere with someone than it is to think about this.
i really think he's going to try to screw me when all is said and done.
and i hope my lawyer's good and doesn't overcharge me when he does.
i know that no lawyer in his/her right mind would look at our case and recommend a restraining order.
it makes me want to give him a reason to.
it makes me want to say, you know what? i have been missing out on things that make me sad to miss, and if you're going to be a fuckhead anyways, i'll just not miss out on them.
what lawyer would be so smart to tell him that anywhere that he is, in public, becomes his place of work? that's how i know he is lying.
maybe i'm just confused about how a restraining order works. maybe he's just trying to have something pop up that is linked to my name?
i'll be so glad when this is over. i just hope that it's sooner than later, because i'm over it.
i have no emotional turmoil from leaving him, and not being with him anymore. so how is it that i can be this upset and afraid about what he is going to think of next?
it's dumb.
other than that, kit and i went out last night. we walked all the way to center city, which didn't feel as bad as it sounded like it was going to feel.
we were trying to find this bar that she recommended for me to hunt boys. only we couldn't find it, went somewhere i'd been before. and there were no cute boys. until we were leaving. i was too full. miserably full. and couldn't even stomach the thought of a second beer after all the food i'd shoved down my gullet.
it was good, it was fun. but i ruined it by overeating.
we did find the pub on the way home. and i only glimpsed the preps inside. i was too tired, as was she, so we just left without paying the $2 cover to look around and think about a beer.
better for both of us. we went to bed early.
i don't know what this new trend is. i think i went to sleep at 1030 or 11 both friday and saturday.
i know i'll be short on sleep next weekend when nate is here and runs me ragged.
today he said he might bring adorkable with him. this is his main interest at one of his jobs.
i want to meet him. i hope he brings him. i figure two cuties will have a better chance of helping me with my little problem than just one, right?
i mean, what i see happening, is that i have all of my friends helping me. none of them mind or have to really put forth much effort. and i sit back and eventually enjoy the fruits of their labor.
i'm lazy i guess. i think the majority of the beauty of chalk is that he came to me. i didn't have to do anything. i just said yes.
plus, it helps to have a screening process, too. having lustful eyes tends to hide things that i'd like to be able to see. like warning signs. i tend to go completely blind when i have an interest. so the way i see it, it's like putting boys through interviews.
i'll figure out a way to make it worthwhile for anyone who makes more effort than me.
belated birthday brunch with alice.
i'm excited to see her and spend time with her. it's been a whole month.
we have great stories for each other, too.
i don't feel like doing anything today after that. and somehow i'm supposed to bake a cake and some banana bread at kit's. and i really don't feel like it.
life's rough...
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