so today i did laundry. and took the opportunity to read the book nina lost under the front passenger seat in my car.
i walked to the laundromat with tiny drops of rain falling, and by the time i asked for $15 in quarters, there was a monsoon. lightning and all. it was really nice.
usually, i'd be annoyed at the rain, when i wanted to read and smoke at the same time. but today, it cooled things back off (it was in the lower eighties today), and i do like to hear the rain pelt the sidewalk.
after the day i had yesterday, it was nice to have a manageable day at work, to come home, and to realize that, if i started laundry at five, i'd be done by seven.
that was the right answer. now i don't have to do it this weekend.
i love setting myself up for a relaxed weekend.
and washing my sheets just means a clean slate.
i keep thinking of that line i wrote a while back. something about no boy passing through my space. because there are no boy smells in my space.
for the days that chalk visited, there was. polo, actually. and it was nice to notice.
and nice for about an hour, post-airport, to still smell that. but it fades quickly. and now all that's left is a pair of his boxers in my underwear drawer, which i have worn a few nights and laundered more than once.
so it goes.
on to the next one.
and reading the graphic novel, i realize that this is the direction i should go with some of my writing, as far as the next project.
i wrote this story a long time ago. of course, it was about coffee. i don't even have it anymore, but nina illustrated a few lines from it and put it in her zine, and i think that was a great idea at the time, but i just couldn't do more with it then. and i think that this task will be much greater. but if i break it down into manageable pieces, i don't see why i can't take a stab at drawing this way. and letting a few of my friends take a stab at it as well. each piece could be drawn by one person, most of my friends are much better artists than i am. and giving them each a little piece to work on might be pretty awesome.
i think it's a good idea.
and i'm grateful to the laundromat and nina's misplaced book.
i love being inspired.
so tomorrow may or may not be the next bbq.
i hope it is. but i haven't heard yet whether there will be one.
at a minimum, i'm supposed to tag along with kit and kim to a show that is a couple blocks from the bbq. and after that, it would be very very easy to swing by and see if anyone interesting is there. like, perhaps, conor.
a little too excited at the possibility? and maybe the allure will be gone the second time i see him, a new trend for me.
and maybe it's a little immature, but i already know what i will wear.
maybe it's time to talk about my reputation at work.
because today, pam and kim were cracking me up, and i am still thinking about it.
pam has a few phrases she uses, to describe things that i do.
one would be, 'just because it has dressing, doesn't make it a salad.'
that's from my atkins days.
and it has something in common with the one she came up with today, telling me that i was eating a 'garbage sandwich'.
or as her sister, kim, called it, a 'butt sandwich'.
i am known for not wasting food. if something is too old to sell, i will usually eat it.
if something is a scrap from something else, i'll eat that, too.
today, i was making italian sandwiches. and the butt of the salami, the end piece, and the butt of the mozzarella cheese, was turned into a delicious italian sandwich for lunch.
yesterday, i got hummus on the cucumbers i was slicing. and i couldn't use them on anything else, so i threw those in a container with some cheese scraps. and that was my lunch.
so pam loves to say that i eat trash.
i'm giggling now.
because it's true.
we have to cut the tips off of all the hoagie rolls, too. so there are cute little bread nubbins during sandwich time, too. and every time i pass by, i take one from the pile and eat that.
it's all perfectly fine to eat.
though i have had bites of cakes that were not quite so. sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.
slightly stale food at work has become a lifestyle for me, i guess.
what's retarded is that, at home, i throw away food all the time. i buy things with good intentions, and either put off eating them or forget about them until they are well beyond the point of being consumed.
yet, at least six or seven times, i've taken home bananas that are completely brown, and thrown them in my fridge or freezer to make banana bread out of. about half the time, i'd say i actually do it. the other half? in my trash.
blame it on my guilt complex. i hate wasting food.
and though they're imposters, the homeless squatters that hang out on corners between my apartment and work, they're probably hungry and would eat the food that we throw away. and i've given them pretzels and bananas before on more than one occasion.
but i just think it's so sad to waste food that is beyond it's freshness date, when there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.
i was telling the girls today, that back in the days of the warehouse, the dudes used to go dumpster diving at trader joes. because they throw so much food away.
one night, i didn't know and i wouldn't have gone anyway, but they had a caviar party. with several hundred dollars' worth of caviar rescued from trader joe's the day it expired.
i guess the trick was to go right after they close, at night. a friend of mine used to go there all the time. i think he had a friend on the 'inside' who would tip him off when there was perfectly good food being thrown out.
in any case, i'm discovering that i'm more like my grandmother, who reuses her own aluminum foil. she actually unwraps things, washes the foil, and reuses it.
i'm not at that point yet, but i do recycle absolutely everything, and it's a pet peeve to find recyclable things in the trash, no matter where. work, home, out. wherever. and i will collect trash and recyclables in my car, because i hate throwing them in regular trash. and sometimes someone will be in my car, and it's just too embarrassing, so i'll actually cave, and throw things away.
but i really hate doing it. and feel bad afterwards.
that's my silly confession for the day.
a more interesting confession is that i spent about 20 minutes on hometown craigslist tonight. as in, for the last twenty minutes.
what i found is that there are a few jobs in coffee and bartending fields, and that they are part time.
what i also found is that there are apartments in the area i'd want to live, and that they're pretty expensive. there was one that was reasonable.
living here, i've been mostly protected from economy fallout. i mean, i know by the amount of resumes i receive when i post a job that there are people looking for jobs here, too. but things down home are pretty rough. and that sales at all of my stores are down.
one thing i know is that i won't move home without having a job lined up. and in talking to aubree tonight, i think that what will probably end up happening, is that i'll get a storage unit here. and move myself and my car and my clothes, things i can't live without, down there. and see what happens after three months. or six.
because i don't want to realize that i've made a mistake that will cost a few thousand dollars to undo. i'll stick to one of those in this lifetime.
and who knows if i'll even still want to go come may.
but this seems like the best thing to do. the best and safest way to do it.
this has been a tired, depressed week. no matter how much sleep i get or don't get, how fitful or sound it is, whether it's been helped by nyquil or not, i guess those things are not factors.
i don't remember dreams i've had since i left dark sky. all i know is that i haven't been sleeping well, and that i haven't felt rested when i wake up.
i'm really glad that it's nearly friday. that i can wake up when i wake up tomorrow, and go to sucky store and move everything out and into the old location.
it will be a rough day, but hopefully it will be busy and won't go by slowly. and then, a nice weekend is waiting for me.
tomorrow will be good. with or without a bbq run-in.
and saturday, i'm attempting to make a new friend.
i'm having drinks with a girl i met at the last bbq, actually. she also just ended a seven year relationship, and we talked some that night. she asked if i wanted to grab a drink and talk more, because it made her feel better to have someone to talk to who is going through what she is. i feel like i wrote about this yesterday. ugh. i hate repeating myself. maybe i'm thinking of telling nina about it.
in any case, we're having drinks and early dinner on saturday. then i'm going to a party with kit. a party of penn students. and i'm pretty excited about that. it's thrown by a couple boys, so i'm pretty sure it will be something like a sausage fest. though kit will know most of the boys there, and can warn me about the ones to steer clear of, it will be fun to look.
party, party, party. kinda like the last first bbq weekend.
i'm sure i'll drink too much.
and not drive anywhere.
and i'm sure i'll have fun.
and sleep in.
that's what i look most forward to every weekend. the bit about sleeping in.
it's almost here.