maybe it was the four loko.
maybe it was the email back from intern saying he's thinking of going to that show.
but today when i woke up, i wanted desperately to go back to sleep and continue my dream where it left off.
i was dreaming i had a magic carpet. it was just big enough for me, not much space around me. and i tipped my head down, and it flew super fast. it is the first time that i think i have ever flown in my dreams. i'm okay with the fact that i was aided, not just my person flying around.
i don't know how, but i picked up intern, and told him to get on. there was no space beside me, and he hesitated. i told him he knew where he had to go, and he got on top of me, belly down for a flight. and in my dream, i felt his full weight on me, and let's just say that he was excited for the ride, and i was acutely aware of the fact.
the carpet was hesitant to move with both of us. after a few glitches, we were flying full speed. he was laughing.
we flew, i forget that part of the dream. we were at this mansion of a house, and we were just starting to kiss when i woke up.
i curse the people outside my apartment for making too much noise to sleep through at that point.
i was laying in bed, tossing, trying to fall asleep, but the day ahead of me was running through my mind. i don't look at the clock when possible, and i didn't then. and i was convinced that it was super early, because of how awful i felt.
but my alarm went off and i jumped out of bed, because it was set for 915, and i had no intentions of sleeping that late.
work was fun, despite being grueling. we dressed up for halloween, but i only got maybe a third of the way through my wings last night, so i didn't wear them. i settled for the shitty walmart wings to get me through my day. and my halfass antennae.
i walked to the bank at the end of my day, and ran into my 19 year old boyfriend from work. actually, he's probably 20 now, but regardless. completely inappropriate. he was walking his bike past the frat house row near campus, where he lives. he had talked about it a long time ago...
in any case, i came home and got into bed.
i felt pretty horrible at that point. i hadn't eaten anything, and it was 430.
laid in bed, watched some stuff and chatted nina up.
eventually, i got up to paint the black on the wings.
and when the bottom wings were complete, there was payoff.
they look awesome. seriously, the best.
i love them.
so now, i crack a beer at 8, and get back to the upper wings, which are about twice as big.
the excitement for how sweet my costume will be is going to have to fuel this.
after this can of loko, i will never touch the stuff again. it's entirely too serious, and i am convinced that the hangover from drinking half of one, plus sleep deprivation, is why i feel pretty shitty still.
it's making me think of gogol's 'tribal connection'.
at a point, eugene says, 'another night at home. all cozy and shit.'
only i'm not cozy. my apartment is cold, because this windy front blew in while my windows were open today.
my hands are numb. painting is going to be interesting.
and when i finish painting my wings, i might just go to the bar for a beer out, alone.
maybe it's partially because hot bartender will probably be working. but i didn't go out at all this week, so i feel entitled.
i am allowed.
at some point, i'll have to sleep. and at some point, hopefully more than eight hours after that, i'll wake up and have a pretty exciting day ahead of me.
i don't know what i'm doing yet. i need to see if i can take a train to ash's party. if so, then i have a pretty good idea of just how much fun my night will be tomorrow.
after the anniversary party at the bar.
this is going to be a pretty kickass halloween, despite the fact that, like everything else this week, i'm doing it alone.
walking to work today, i thought of something to add on to what i was writing last night about being a butterfly.
how cool would it have been to have gotten sheets of green tissue paper. to wrap myself up in it completely, and then rip through it to reveal my costume? pretty awesome. if i was in a contest, i'd do it.
now, back to my slightly warmer room, fueled by pbr, to finish what i started.
i'll glue tomorrow, if i can wait after finishing the painting tonight.
and i don't know why i'm just thinking of it now, but...
yesterday morning, walking to the car to go to work in the dark at 645, orion was high in the sky above my car.
it was foggy, very wet out. not yet cold.
and it hit me. this is fall. this is my time of year.
and now it's cold. and now i want someone to come over and warm me up.