four star boys. march 27th. (nina's birtday)

so what ended up happening yesterday was this...

i basically triple booked myself and paid dearly for it.

originally, the girls were coming over to have a little party. i stocked up on snacks and drinks. but the same day i told them to come over at two, contractor said he took the day off on saturday and wanted to come to work on the basement.

because he was offering to work with me on his day off, i took him up on the offer. we talked on the phone for an hour, basically setting up our plan and talking shop. and then just bullshitting for a while.

he said that, if i was willing to assist him with the work, he would do the work for a lower rate than if i just had him do everything. i told him that i am interesting in being more handy, and would love to learn how to do what it is that we were going to do (install a sump pump properly - including plumbing and electric work), to cap some broken plumbing, and to fix my dryer vent.

so he advised me to buy some liquor, either tequila or whiskey. whichever i would partake in. i've never had whiskey, so he told me two specific tequilas to look for. he said we would just relax and sip and bullshit and take our time while we worked, so it wouldn't feel like work.

brilliant plan. knowing the girls were coming over later in the day, i thought we'd be done working on the basement by the time the girls arrived, so i wasn't worried about being double booked. all of that was planned before kit came over, so i thought that she'd have fun with the girls and with contractor. so i didn't worry about it.

but what ended up happening is that first, contractor and i had to collect supplies at home depot. by the time we got back i guess it was right around 1230 or so. and we started working, sans tequila. by 215, he said it was an appropriate time to have a drink, so i poured tequila over ice, in two mason jars. and the sipping began.

it was crazy. i have not had straight tequila since i was probably 21 in tahoe. there's a reason for that. unlike every other kind of liquor, tequila doesn't make me spin, which means it doesn't make me puke. i can put away a lot of tequila, and if i put away too much, i just black out and make bad decisions. so i had sworn off of it for a long time. but i knew that, after twelve more years of drinking experience, i could handle it. and i did.

i guess i took three sips before i realized that it was in need of some mixer. so as to not be completely shitfaced within an hour.

i guess the first thing we did was dump a bunch of gravel into the hold ever had dug for the pump. we leveled it, and put the pit in. put the pump in there.

he was teaching me the names of the power tools, and making me use them, so i'd get over my fears. it was pretty empowering. i cut pvc with a sawzall. i drilled holes in the pit and another bucket with an impact drill. and i was most proud that i managed to carry four bags of gravel that were 50 pounds each around the basement and into and out of his truck.

'i'm getting stronger now...' (rocky theme from his training)

once the thing was plumbed in, we had to create a dedicated outlet to it, and run the electrical wiring from the front of the basement, all the way to the back where the pump is.

so we fed the wire through holes that were drilled for existing electric. it was slow going, but once that was done, he created the breaker for it, and taught me a lot about electricity. what's hot. what's safe to touch, what's the ground.

i realized yesterday that, both of us having a 'that's what she said' sense of humor, there were too many jokes to be easily made. and thanks to tequila, there were some pretty good ones.

after the sump pump was in and done, and had plumbing and electricity to it, we tested it. and it worked. so so awesome. we took a smoke break, at that point, i guess we were on drink number two. well into it. so we were both feeling pretty good. and also proud of ourselves.

kit joined us for a chat on the deck, which was a lot of fun. i was so glad that she was here this weekend, because the two of them hadn't met yet, and i knew they'd love each other. they did.

so i guess that was when i had kit call the girls, because it was well after the time they had planned to show up (they explained this as 'cpt', colored people time). i think they got there at 330 instead of 2.

contractor and i went back to the basement to work on the dryer, which was a very easy fix, but we were talking more than working, and it was slow going. he also did all the work himself, so there was nothing for me to help with.

it was fun, and when we finished that, lunch was ready and the girls were over. everyone was eating so we joined in.

and the girls had gotten into the tequila.

they were pretty silly already, which was unfortunate because i didn't even hang out with them, and i felt like they were at the point where they needed to be cut off.

contractor and i had a smoke break before packing his tools back into his truck, and by the time we came back inside after that, the two bottles of tequila were half empty. i think contractor and i had the equivalent of three shots over the course of three hours. so the girls were shitfaced.

i walked contractor out, after packing up his truck, and went back inside. pam was sick, so we called her man to come and get them.

i was so bummed because they'd only been over a couple hours, and aside from maybe 15 minutes of playing guitar hero, i didn't even get to see them.

they left, and kit and i just looked at each other, like, 'now what?'

i guess it was around 630 when they left. and i felt just horrible. while i was in the basement, everything was fun and fantastic. but when i joined the trainwreck party i felt bummed. and because i had stopped drinking when the basement work was done, i just felt drained and slightly stomach ache-y. not hungry. and kinda sad and demotivated.

all of it was a great distraction from thinking about ever and the conversation i need to have today with jay's girl. but once things got quiet, and the alcohol wore off, i was in bad shape.

i'd somehow managed to be okay on a four hour broken up nap to that point. we ended up getting no gringos takeout and coming back to watch zombieland, which i hadn't seen yet. i did like it. and it did work as a distraction until the halfway point. and then i just wanted to go to bed.

but i finished the movie, popped a couple ativan, smoked a couple cigarettes, and went to bed.

it was good - i slept from about 1230 until 10 today, so i do feel better.

the sleep deprivation sickness is pretty much gone, but my stomach is a bundle of nerves and my head is a fucking mess.

the whole point of the trumped title in yesterday's post was to talk about the four star boys.

so the night i found out about ever, after kit and i had talked for an hour, i got onto dating site.

and i don't know why i did it, but i just was so sick and sad about never getting any messages back from the boys i was flirting with, that i went through my rated boys.

and i gave them all an extra star.

and as i was going through all the three stars (whose only flaw more often than not is living in jersey or further into the suburbs) and adding one star on, my message box started filling up.

seven messages. seven of the boys i bumped up all had given me four or five stars.

so in a matter of ten minutes, i knew which seven boys i should deal with next.

it's funny, because it is quite literally a lowering of my standards. however, they are all boys on the most basic level that i consider to be fuckably hot.

so... game on.

i felt so good. i was giggling. i was excited. i was surprised at the ones that were interested in me. in the middle of trying to process the ever information, and listen to kit, all of which was rough subject matter, i was excited that of all of these boys, surely ONE will go out with me.

i have been DYING this week. i don't know what happened. i think that i dropped about five pounds, which has a direct effect on my drive. it goes something like, 'i'm skinny. i wanna get naked now.'

and i'm sorry, but taking care of myself is key to survival, however it is NOT fixing the problem. i need a MAN.

i feel like i am at this breaking point. i've been walking around for a week now, completely fucking wound up - a basket case. and i have been so frustrated and felt so unable to change my situation.

no joey in real life to hit on. no responses from boys on dating site to ask out. just NOTHING.

i told kit last night, in response to a long running joke we have about humping parking meters when one of us has to walk around feeling like this, that if she should happen to come back to the car with the takeout and i happen to be humping a parking sign, to please just let me finish.

i know it's ridiculous, but i seriously fear for boys in my path when i'm this obsessed in my head with getting laid. it's dangerous. yet, i have no fucking balls to do anything to make something happen. so really, it's not dangerous and all. and there could be fifty boys in my path, and i'd probably just walk right through them, trying not to bump into them while i stare at my shoes.

but dating site is about to change that. i was hoping that one of them would message me over the weekend. but none of them did. so maybe tomorrow, i start messaging them. or leaving my window up on the computer so they can start a chat with me if they want to. or maybe a mix.

part of me wants to send all seven at the same time, so that something is sure to happen. but part of me wants to cut that in half. to prolong it. it's only problematic if the last one is the one who responds, because then i've lost another week having inappropriate thoughts about parking meters. joking... but you know what i mean.

stupid ever managed to trump that news. and knock the wind out of me.

i hope things go okay with jay's girl. i'm waiting for her to call me now, so i can go over to talk.

i can't even practice my talk, because i don't know what to say. luckily, i really like her and think she'll be completely understanding. my fingers are crossed...

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