so i'm at the house and posting from iphone. turns out the one time i didn't bring blacktop is the one time I could have really used it...
sigh.
today was strange. there was no work to do at work, so i left early as planned. caught a noon trolley to city hall to record the deed ever signed over to me. only it was $200 and i couldnt pay it because of moving and not having collected rent yet. the movers take cash only, so there was no wiggle room.
i talked to mike tonight, for a minute. he was meeting ever to give him his paycheck and they discussed it, so i should have a check when he gets home. well see... shaun is a mystery. i left them a note on community board to pay it. oh, landlordship...
the rest of my day was spent packing, because i'm at suck store the next two days, and didn't anticipate feeling like packing after. i did a lot, got a lot done, and when i took down the curtains, it looked unlike my place, and i started to realize that i'm only there for a couple more nights, which totally depresses me. the only upside is that i really need the $700 security deposit back, and having that will give me some breathing room. and some botox. yes!!
in other news, i messaged the captain and another boy and didn't hear back from either of them. i decided against the beard boy because we only matched 60% and I think he might be a little spiritual/churchy for my taste. i might change my mind.
i have twenty or so four star boys to message before i lower my standards and attempt to hook up with a three star.
this is why i hate this neighborhood: in the twenty minutes since i swept the street and put the trash out, there are now three little 25 cent chip bags on my sidewalk. fucking trashy people. i hate them.
i noticed this coming back from ordering chinese food for dinner, which is the only bright spot in this night. i have been craving it for months, and i'm pretty excited to finally have it. because i'm a picky little eater, i always get the same thing: sweet and sour chicken with pork fried rice, with curry sauce instead of sweet and sour. when you order curry chicken, you get slimy little chickens. i like chinese style chicken nuggets (naturally), so my order has a lot of descriptors. i'm a pain in the ass.
***
yeah. so that was last night. today was suck store.
i really should stop calling it that. i mean, it sucks more than ever, but these people tip me retardedly well. i've probably done like $150 in coffee, and have made like $25 in tips.
i am so tired. beyond tired.
and i can't figure it out, really. i think it's anxiety related. because yesterday when i was dealing with the deed, i was having a little freakout. despite this hot middle eastern dude on the trolley sitting behind me, who looked a lot like crow boy with longer hair. it was only a temporary distraction. i think i have found another set of crushes. jewish boys, and apparently blue eyed middle eastern hotties.
in any case, i was standing in the middle of center city, literally, outside city hall. i stopped to light a cigarette and carry on an internal dialogue with myself about where i needed to go next, and which method of public transportation was required to get there.
it was sad. i really didn't know where to go. or how to go. then i realized that i needed my car. and to go to my apartment. and iphone saved me, telling me where to catch the bus. and then i missed my stop, went a block too far, and walked back and over to my place.
and then work stuff started going a little crazy. and i had a few calls and emails to handle, despite being out of work for the day. and that was stressful, because it deals with contracts and obligations that i'm not prepared to handle.
and then i started packing. everything. and that pushed me a little closer to the edge still. because when i took down all my curtains, my apartment's ugliness returned. and then i realized how much better i'd made the place look. and how disappointed the next tenants will be when they realize that i took everything of mine with me. and how fucking ugly and run down the shit is. i took a bunch of pictures of myself in the apartment, because my hair was crazy and there were boxes everywhere.
aside from that, i went to the house early, in hopes of catching one or both of the guys at home, and to get all the trash out onto the curb.
i did all of it myself, except for the catty couch, which mike helped me move.
then walked to the beer store, where i stood in line with about eight people, reeking of beer, the lot of them. in that 'i'm on disability and have been drinking all day and i'm paying for my beer with nickels' kindof a way. and there were kids in the store, because they sell other stuff, too. and this guy was saying 'it's crowded as a muthafucka in here'. i swear with the rest of them, but come on.
i felt super trashy waiting there, and even trashier buying two pbr tall boys. and she thought i wanted the 24 oz pbr. i didn't even know they made that! they're crazy huge cans of beer. unreal. the thought of drinking two blew my mind a little.
so i stooped with my beer after sweeping the street. saw my old neighbor (the house flipper) who talked to me for a long time. it was nice. i have this fear, still, that people won't speak to me because of what i did to ever. but they do. and they're just as nice as they were. the neighbors (three so far) have all said, 'oh! you're back!' car wash even put his blunt by his side to say hi, between blowing snot rockets off his stoop onto his sidewalk. lovely guy, that one. a real charmer.
and it felt good to sweep, and good to sit and smoke, and good to get the trash out. but i was tired and drained, and another pass of mopping and being hungry and wanting beer and waiting sucked.
but it was worth it, mostly. because the contractor was awesome. he already saved me money, just by telling me a few things i could do to save resources in the house and use them elsewhere. and i collected rent, and put it in the bank today. and got the cash for the movers. everything seems to be coming together.
we spent well over an hour talking and going through the house. and he knows his shit. and will fix all the shitty contractor fuckups. and happened to have some awesome ideas for the house, to add to the appeal and reveal its full potential. but i don't know that i can afford it. we shall see...
realtor and contractor both opened up the possibility of renting the place out for a while. i could go to fla for a while, and still have the house to come back to. i'm entertaining it. i guess the next few months will determine that. how much of an influence ever has or doesn't over my future-wise. if i overcome it, then i get the best of everything.
as much work as i've been doing, i'm actually excited to go back to the house and work on it and fix it up. and buying time by renting it out for a while means that i can do a lot more work, over time. no rush for money.
so i have a lot on my mind. and now i will try to sleep. big day tomorrow. work, packing the rest of what i own, and next to last art class.
with that, i bid you good night:
i am the landlord. i am the walrus. goo goo g'joob...
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