beekie and katie. june 26th.

so i got in late on friday.

and slept in late on saturday. i had to be up because beekie and i had a lunch date.

aubree and i got our eyebrows done just before. i went to lunch and a pitcher of margaritas, we talked for three whole hours.

it was incredible. i knew from talking to her before that our married lives were similar, hers was complicated by children. but otherwise, our husbands both became very depressed and passive and lazy, leaving us to do everything.

it was great to trade stories and relate to one another.


it's so strange to me that we all grew up in the same place, the same schools, sharing a lot of the same friends. and that now, as adults, we're all ending up the same way.

it's like it was in the water or something. like we were all destined to end up in the same boat.


i came home from lunch, after grabbing some delicious cupcakes after dinner.

hung around with aubree and katie. we took mom and mimi to target, just before midnight.

they were playing some crazy rap music, soldier boy. they'd taught mom the dance the day before. when the song came on, mom said, 'oh! this is the song that i hurt my hip dancing to.'

it was hilarious. they were all doing the arm motions in the car. it was awesome.

we were running around the store. they asked what i needed, and i said, 'lip stain, saline, and a box of tampons'. mom heard, 'lip stain, saline, and a box of condoms'. also hilarious.

and then we left, and i wanted to buy beer and cigarettes. dragging mom and mimi on the beer run was equally funny.


we got home, and aubree passed out. katie and i went out by the pool.

from midnight until four, we had a few beers, too many cigarettes, and hours of conversation. staring at the sky, talking astronomy and religion and divorce and relationships. youth and college, life goals and aspirations. around three, the urge to swim at night was too much to ignore. i debated skinny dipping, but the full moon dissuaded me. i can't remember when i did that last, probably at nina's in college.

so i got into my suit, and swam as quietly as i could. the pool and our seats were right outside mom and dad's bedroom window.

i swam laps. i floated on my back and stared at the stars. i held my breath and went underwater, breathing bubbles and deafened.

sat on the sunshelf and smoked and drank and talked. it felt so natural, so wonderful.


since i've been here, the feeling i cannot shake is that everything feels so right.

natural.

i feel like i'm home.

and last night, i felt like i never wanted to leave.

i didn't want to get out of the pool. i forced myself to get out and go to bed at four. i didn't want to see the sun come up. and i had a lunch date with brownies, so i had to go to bed.

but i didn't want to. i was wide awake and so content to be in the pool at four in the morning.

nightswimming.