if you have not seen 500 days of summer, do not read this.
SERIOUSLY. stop. i'll wait...
this is what i thought of it, as written to brownies (mostly)...
it's everything that i went through with coffee. always. and especially this summer.
i think that what got to me the most was just the change of perspective. how the first half of the movie was what he saw. he was so in love with her that he had this perfect view of how things were.
and even though i wanted to see their story the way he did, it fucked with me when it went back to all the situations and she was acting differently, and he either didn't notice it, or just didn't acknowledge it.
and there were two things i hated about it.
one, that she would be engaged and married in like two months after she broke up with him.
and two, the whole 'autumn' ending.
i thought that the speed with which she got engaged was a retarded story twist.
fine, get engaged. but make more time pass, and don't get married in like one month.
and the autumn ending? come on. no one has that happen so quickly for them, either. i thought it detracted from the reality of the movie as a whole.
everything else about it was so pretty and so great.
i lost it when he left her party and everything went white. like, couldn't stop crying.
and when she was in the park with him in the end.
and the part that really upset me, made me angry, was when he was drawing on her arm, and she was looking away and rolling her eyes. because that was one of my favorite parts, through his eyes.
i loved how it skipped around, too.
she's just so fucking pretty. i'd kill for her wardrobe in that movie. and he is so cute - exactly the type of boy i'd fall for. the way he looks, dresses, all of it. everything about him is pretty much what i want in a guy. the fact that he was the one with all the feelings just made it even worse for me, because it makes me think that there are guys like that out there. waiting, like i am. looking, like i am. feeling, like i am capable of feeling.
i tried watching this movie 'brick' because he was in it. but i really didn't like it. i guess it's film noir, and i must not be a fan, because it drove me nuts.
i just saw it, and i got stuck in my own head about myself. i just feel like i could relate all too well.
that line about, 'it was everything i wasn't sure of with you.'
just because of how real and honest it was.
yeah. i'm totally watching it again now.
i'll add to this as i go. i wonder how much it will change for me, knowing the end throughout it.
when i watched it the first time, and was crying, i didn't want it to be over. i tried watching the bonus features, but it wasn't working.
i loved the opening. 'especially you, jenny beckman.' then, 'bitch.'
and the soundtrack. sigh...
i'll write more after i watch it again.
god... the part when they're outside karaoke and she asks him if he likes her. then attacks him in the copy room. how flushed he gets.
that's the shit my fantasies are made of.
and all of the ikea stuff.
and i'm so glad to have the hall & oats reference to this movie. because before this, it was the wedding singer when they're eating the cake samples. still dorky, but it's endearing and hilarious.
and i think the thing that i've been dealing with lately is house envy/apartment envy.
and both of their apartments are so awesome.
and now kit and i say 'penis' in public on occasion.
and i think it's fellini that the movie he is in, watching alone, is borrowed from. i used to watch his stuff when i first moved to phila. really odd, but interesting. i went through this phase of only watching french films. it made me remember that.
and holy shit! the part where it shows his expectations versus what is really happening. man...killed me, too. the song is by regina spektor, and it's like a knife to the heart for me.
his sister. how everything she said was so spot on, despite their age difference. reminds me a lot of my sister. despite the fact that she's eleven year younger than me, she is so much smarter... especially at relationships. it just makes sense to her.
and 'it just wasn't me that you were right about'... man.
and, 'you can't ascribe great cosmic significance to a simple earthly event'.
i wish i'd written that line...
the second time wasn't nearly as hard. i didn't even cry...
there's just this feeling that follows me to bed after watching that. the first time, it was the saddest emptiness that i had felt in a long time.
this time, that feeling is here. a little less weepy than i went to bed the first time, but still.
sad. lonely. alone.
and tonight, all i can think about is that i wish i'd seen it that night. i wish i'd watched it before i went to the bar. i might not have gone to the bar, but if i had, i wouldn't have frozen.
maybe that boy tim was just a warmup exercise for something else.
i don't know. i can't say, because i can't change it or undo it.
but i feel like i'm armed with some new knowledge now, and i won't let it happen again...