sick. november 22nd.

well, it is happening.

i've only had three cigarettes all day, which is how you can tell i'm unwell.


my throat is killing me. but it seems to go away when my nose is clear, so i'm hoping it's not strep, which kit had last week. and far away in fla, nina had the week before.

it would be fitting if i did have it.

but i really, really hope that i don't.

i'm about to take nyquil and pass out. it almost feels like what i thought the flu was before i had it. i do feel a little achy.

two days of work until a four day weekend. i just can't get worse and have to deal.


i guess today was a little better.

i got the letter back from the attorney. i do have to pay a retainer. which fucking SUCKS. and i found out that the insurance is past due, ever's portion. but the cancellation notice was just a formality from me closing the account. i can still pay the amount past due and have the active policy.

i still hate him. i can't believe that i thought i could help him and be his friend. i am seriously stupid.

and he is seriously going to have to get a lawyer, finally. and it is too fucked up that i will see him next in a courtroom. but that is a fact of life now.


i guess that i'm ready for this to be over. i mean, i know i am, but dread this part of things being in his control, and being forced to take the hardest way out because he is an idiot. whatever. it will be interesting to see what he has to say for himself. if he even says anything at all.


homeless ever. what a moron.


and because i have a one track mind, something funny happened at work today.

my original boyfriend, the 19 year old one came by.

he looked adorable in his scrubs, and was talking to us for a while.

and mentioned something about his band this past weekend, how he was trying to divide his time between friends, but felt like he was letting people down.

i asked him his band's name, and he told me. and said he had a cd in his bag. and that he'd bring it by after class so we could check it out.

and he did.


it was cute. i can't play it on the laptop for some strange reason. so i'll have to listen to it in the car.

but he plays bass. naturally. they are always the ones i look at. the sun, ever, and most bands i like.

so at some point, i'll probably have to go see them play. i hope it's decent and not awful.


anyways, it made me happy, and made me feel better about an otherwise lame day at work.