'up'. and in the air. november 8th.

so one of the last tangled things with ever has been detangled. now all that is left is just the bank account. and the house ultimately.


i stay angry about every aspect of my job right now, and it just spills over into anger about ever. and everything else.


he hasn't paid the mortgage yet this month. which is no suprise. and i can't remember if i wrote about it or not, but he hasn't paid the homeowners insurance on the house for the last two months.

so today, i split it off into his name. and put the car in my own name. and gave them his number.

fucking DUMBASS.

i'd kill him, but it wouldn't be fun to visit me in jail. so there's that.


and i do feel like i am going a little crazy.

i saw 111 on saturday and yesterday. i saw 1111 last night, and actually said aloud to my alarm clock, 'that's just not fair. come ON!'. saw 1111 this morning at work, and 222 just now.

all these triple and quadruple numbers are making me a little crazy. and i just wrote that lottery story.


* * *


home from work.

jesus christ.

someone should have warned me about 'up'.

like five minutes in, i was bawling.

and then again. and again.

and then robbie called me.

and thought he woke me up. i was all, 'no. just crying at a movie.'

he said the rosa parks movie he watched last night made him cry.

i wrote 'sigh' and then erased it. i think it was the idea of a boy crying that i liked for a second. then i remembered that he hasn't been sleeping, so that probably explains it. not that someone wouldn't cry at the rosa parks story.

nevermind. stupid brain.


i hung up with him, and hit play, and started crying right when it restarted, because it was the last leg of the movie.

and again. and again.


i didn't see it coming, that's the thing.

i thought there was a heavy element to it, but once i got that out of the way right off the bat, i thought that it would be all chipper from there.

wrong.

i cried way more at this cartoon than i did at 500 days of summer.

ugh. then i was prepared for it.


i'm exhausted now. i feel like i've been hit by a bus.

and this couch is really uncomfortable.

but?

i have a new fridge.

that is awesome.

it hums. which is new and different.

and it doesn't pour water all over the floor.

which is also awesome.


man.

seriously.

that cartoon kicked my ass.

i'm such a sap.


so robbie called about getting a check from us, but i asked him if it was still raining, and he said that it stopped and that it's beautiful out. reminded him of driving to florida in the wintertime, and stopping in south carolina.

and i told him i was writing about fall just yesterday.


and now, a nice safe episode of the universe. and more writing exercises.

i'm determined to get another novel out of myself. i just want to create something. i really need to print out those comics and get a sketchbook. i keep forgetting about it until i want to draw, and then remembering. late at night when i can't go out and get one.

it's in the air. everyone is probably thinking it.